Dust

Over the past few days, I've found myself in a cycle of depression, anger and confusion. I am told this is normal in my circumstance (loosing my job, for those of you who have not read down further). I've caught myself blaming God, then feeling guilty for thinking those thoughts, then blaming myself, then feeling stupid.

Then I'm usually hungry. Some things never change.

I ran across two things in the past few hours that helped. The first is a song by an artist/producer named Joe Beck. It may not mean much to you, but it helped set my perspective a little clearer. Here's a verse and a chorus:

You magnify my helplessness
That I might see Your faithfulness
I stand in awe because of who You are
Creator of my heart, O God

The Mystery of You in words
When Heaven's mercy kissed the earth
The price completely paid by You alone
I fall before Your throne and I cry

I am dust
I am frail
I am weak
I fail
You are God
You are King
Over all the universe You reign
And I stand amazed that You could truly love
This dust

Then this morning I picked up a book that I was reading and had set aside for a while, Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline. I vaguely remembered that where I left off had seemed something that I wasn't catching. The importance of it had not settled into me. So I opened up the dog-eared page and looked at the title of the section where I had quit reading.

The Dark Night of the Soul.

It seemed a little more appropriate now. I quote Foster:

What does the dark night of the soul involve? We may have a sense of dryness, aloneness, even lostness. Any overdependence on the emotional life is stripped away... The dark night is one of the ways God brings us into a hush, a stillness so that He may work an inner transformation on the soul... When God lovingly draws us into a dark night of the soul, there is often a temptation to seek release from it and to blame everyone and everything for our inner dullness... Be grateful that God is lovingly drawing you away from every distraction so that you can see him clearly. Rather than chafing and fighting, become still and wait."

And so I quietly wait. I am dust.

Burning Rubber

Austin was out on his new bike the other day. We were at Grande Stadium and he was breaking it in. In the process, he left some serious tread marks. Take a look...

Get a Job...

Well, that's what I'm trying to do. I've not posted much here about my job search, or for that matter why I'm even needing a new job. I think I'll continue my self-imposed silence on the situation at GCR.

But as far as jobs are concerned, thus far I have been approaching the search with the thought that I am open to whatever is out there and that God will lead me to the right position. I have even caught myself thinking "just get a job that pays. You can pursue your passion on your off-time." I am beginning to rethink that.

This morning a new acquaintance recommended a book to me. Maybe you've heard of 48 Days to the Work You Love. It is highly recommended by Dave Ramsey (although he is not the new acquaintance I mentioned). The book was released this year (2007) and is written by Dan Miller. I have only read the introduction and first chapter and it's really gotten me to thinking already.

Here is a quote from the first chapter... "Perhaps we can create a definition of work that includes more than just completing duties for a paycheck. What if we were able to create a model for work that included work, play, leisure, and spiritual components? Would it be unreasonable to expect to find fulfilling, enjoyable, spiritually significant, income producing work?" According to Miller, the obvious answer is a resounding "no, it's not unreasonable!"

I truly believe I was in this situation when I worked for Acappella Ministries. I felt the same at Christ Family Fellowship in Corpus Christi. I believe I would have come to feel this at Golf Course Road, given time. And now, I need to pray and believe that it can happen again here in Midland. I certainly do not want to settle for a "job."

Lord, give me the faith and patience to see what you've laid before me. Or at least to make the best out of the situation if I pick the wrong thing. Is that a contradiction in faith? *sigh*

Pitch Pipecast: Episode 10

The new Pipecast is up. Episode 10 features Eric Gwin, solo a cappella artist. You can find it at PitchPipePro.com or, as always, download it direct from this link. Hope you enjoy it.

Nearer My God to Thee

Dave Gerhart pointed me to a fabulous video that I want to share with you. As you know if you've read this blog any at all, I love good a capella music. I do a podcast dedicated to it. Here is one that falls right square into that category.

This is a group from BYU called Vocal Point. The video is of them competing at the ICCA Quarterfinals this past February of 2007. As you will see, it is a fabulous arrangement of Nearer My God to Thee (done by James Stevens) and garnered them 1st place. Enjoy...