Mutant Potato Two-Toed Tater

My son is in need of some extra cash and he's learned about capitalism. So he's asked me to sell this potato for him on Ebay. Here goes.

This truly unique potato is one of a kind. It's a special spud. A two-toed tater. You can't find a Murphy like this inside of Idaho or outside of Ireland. This one potato will feed at least one and a half people easily. This is one spud you don't want to miss. Bid now and bid high!

If that doesn't move you...

IT'S A MUTANT POTATO! Discovered in the south of New Mexico near White Sands, this potato grew from a small root into a two-headed terror. Nothing in Roswell can match it. The entire town of Lovington ran screaming into the night when this potato was unveiled. Buy it now and clear your block of any unsavory types. Simply set the potato on your porch and the let the hideous nature of this tater take it's course.

Or maybe...

For sale! Special lover's potato. This special spud was designed with two in mind. You may have missed Valentine's Day, but this V-shaped potato will bring it all back. Not only is it "V" in nature, but the rounded edges give it the unique properties of a heart. This potato beats for you. Buy it for your love now, or be forever sorry.

Or could it be....

If one were to stand on their head while looking at this picture, one would see that this potato looks very much like a Star Trek insignia. The new Star Trek movie is opening soon. Buy this potato and wear it on your chest with pride. This spud will help you live long and prosper.

My son just said, "I think that's enough, Dad." Please help him learn about the American Way. Buy my son's potato. Please.

If you have a heart and wish to bid on my son's potato and preserve his faith in justice, freedom and the free market system, follow this link to Ebay and bid high. My starving son thanks you. Well, actually he's not starving or he would eat the stupid thing. But he thanks you anyway. (Bidding available through Mar-20-09 17:57:29 PDT)